He threatens to hurt himself if I leave — is that abuse?
Last updated: 2026-08-10 · Educational content; not legal advice.
Short answer
Yes — RA 9262 §5(f) names this specifically. It penalizes inflicting, or threatening to inflict, physical harm on oneself in order to control a woman's actions or decisions, so a threat of self-harm used to keep you from leaving, or to make you decide something, is a punishable act on its own — separate from any harm directed at you.
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Frequently asked
Does he have to actually hurt himself for it to count?
No — §5(f) covers "inflicting or threatening to inflict" physical harm on himself, so the threat itself is enough; he doesn't have to follow through.
Does it matter what decision he's trying to control — like leaving, or something smaller?
§5(f) covers controlling "her actions or decisions" broadly, without limiting it to a decision to leave the relationship specifically.
Is this different from him threatening to hurt me?
Yes — a threat directed at you would generally fall under §3's physical or psychological categories instead. §5(f) is specifically about him threatening himself as a means of control.
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Whether what's happening even counts as abuse under RA 9262 — psychological violence without a hand ever being raised, economic control, threats, and the reach of the law beyond marriage and beyond your front door.